Can a marriage emerge stronger after the storm of infidelity? That's the heart-rending question Jordan and Kristen tackle through the lens of biblical stories like that of Hosea, examining the raw realities of betrayal and the healing potential of forgiveness within the context of a sacred covenant. With Jordan's background as a divorce attorney and their shared Christian faith, Jordan and Kristen navigate the complexities of adultery—a frequent catalyst for divorce—and discuss the arduous journey towards possible reconciliation. From the tangible acts of unfaithfulness to the less visible, yet equally damaging, emotional betrayals in the digital age, we confront the profound impacts on relationships. Yet, in the midst of the pain, we underscore the transformative might of repentance and the boundless grace offered by the Gospel, holding onto the belief that with genuine remorse and open hearts, marriages can find a path to restoration.
Moving to the frontlines of marital defense, this episode also lays out strategies to preemptively shield your union from the perils of infidelity. Jordan and Kristen dissect the dangerous cocktail of pride and the misconception of self-imperviousness, emphasizing that simply professing immunity to temptation is far from sufficient. They share the critical importance of establishing clear boundaries in all facets of life to avert the smallest lapse that could lead to significant transgressions, and reveal how spiritual fortitude, daily prayer, and cultivating a deep connection with your spouse act as bulwarks against external enticements. As we offer these insights, we hold firm to the belief that prevention is key, and while God can mend a marriage fractured by betrayal, the path is often smoother when fortified by proactive measures and a shared commitment to fidelity.
Can a marriage emerge stronger after the storm of infidelity? That's the heart-rending question Jordan and Kristen tackle through the lens of biblical stories like that of Hosea, examining the raw realities of betrayal and the healing potential of forgiveness within the context of a sacred covenant. With Jordan's background as a divorce attorney and their shared Christian faith, Jordan and Kristen navigate the complexities of adultery—a frequent catalyst for divorce—and discuss the arduous journey towards possible reconciliation. From the tangible acts of unfaithfulness to the less visible, yet equally damaging, emotional betrayals in the digital age, we confront the profound impacts on relationships. Yet, in the midst of the pain, we underscore the transformative might of repentance and the boundless grace offered by the Gospel, holding onto the belief that with genuine remorse and open hearts, marriages can find a path to restoration.
Moving to the frontlines of marital defense, this episode also lays out strategies to preemptively shield your union from the perils of infidelity. Jordan and Kristen dissect the dangerous cocktail of pride and the misconception of self-imperviousness, emphasizing that simply professing immunity to temptation is far from sufficient. They share the critical importance of establishing clear boundaries in all facets of life to avert the smallest lapse that could lead to significant transgressions, and reveal how spiritual fortitude, daily prayer, and cultivating a deep connection with your spouse act as bulwarks against external enticements. As we offer these insights, we hold firm to the belief that prevention is key, and while God can mend a marriage fractured by betrayal, the path is often smoother when fortified by proactive measures and a shared commitment to fidelity.
All right. Good evening everybody. Thanks for joining us. Welcome to another episode of the Jordan and Kristen Records show. Tonight's topic can a marriage survive adultery? And perhaps an even more important question should a marriage survive adultery? All right, but before we get to that weighty issue, kristen, why don't you pray for everybody? Go ahead.
Speaker 2:Lord, we thank you that, as we talk about this issue tonight, lord, that we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory. We have all been unfaithful to you at some point or another. But, god, you love us and you draw us into you. And, lord, you are so forgiving and loving and you want no separation between us and you. Lord, thank you that you have drawn us back in and you tore the veil when you paid the ultimate price for our sin. In Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 1:Interesting prayer. There I noticed that you're tying an analogy between unfaithfulness in marriage to unfaithfulness spiritually. Why'd you go with that?
Speaker 2:You know it was on when you said we were going to do this topic. It was on my mind. I believe it's Hosea right, that talks about.
Speaker 1:it's basically a we just looked this up three minutes ago. I believe it's Hosea. You know it's Hosea, it was just on the screen. You asked me to look it up for you.
Speaker 2:I was like is it Hosea, Is it Hosea? I don't know why I'm like that. Hosea, Hosea, no Hosea. But anyway, God recalled, put that on my heart. I remember studying that whole chapter, that whole book, rather, and it's just amazing how it's this analogy of this wife that's been unfaithful and Hosea goes after her and pursues her even though she's been unfaithful, and there's a reconciliation there and that's supposed to be also the relationship God's drawing a bigger point between himself and us. Though we are unfaithful, though we have been in our sin, God comes after us. So we have been the one committing adultery, but God comes after us, and someone's gonna take like a snippet of that, the Jordan and Christian show.
Speaker 1:We have been the one committing adultery, thank you. Hosea is a really interesting book, by the way, because the way it opens is actually God tells Hosea to go marry the most promiscuous woman he could find. Yeah, yeah, it's like too many people would jump at that opportunity.
Speaker 2:I know it's like no, do not, do not. God does not say that's Heal us.
Speaker 1:All right. So here's the deal with tonight's topic. So, as some of you know, I'm a divorce attorney, which is a heck of a thing to be when you're also trying to run a Christian ministry here, and I've struggled with that, as you know, kristen, and the best I can do is, you know, god needs bright lights and dark places, and so that's why I continue to do this now for this season of my life. One of the things that you find out very quickly is that adultery is, if not a uniform cause, at least a highly common denominator in almost every divorce.
Speaker 1:I think we've seen statistics, kristen, you and I something like 70% of marriages cite adultery as a reason for divorce. I think 75% say it's lack of commitment, although, you know, certainly adultery is a form of lack of commitment. And so the question becomes if this has happened in a Christian household, okay, can that marriage survive the adultery, and should it? And I think, christen, the first thing I say is as far as can it survive? It really depends on what you mean by survive. First of all, by survive, you mean not get divorced. I mean that's a pretty low threshold of survival, right, like? Okay. In a Christian household, yes, someone can commit adultery and it might not necessarily result in divorce. But again, is that really? Are you really married at that point?
Speaker 2:Well, this is a very gray area, you, there's there's certain topics that it's not just black and white, yes or no, right, obviously, we know that God, without a doubt, there is Reconciliation, that God that we sin and fall short and we put it at the foot of the cross. So, if someone has committed adultery, and they but see that there's the first key, they come forward with a willing heart Crying out to God and to their spouse Can that marriage survive? Can it be reconciled? Absolutely? That's the power of the gospel.
Speaker 2:Now, that also doesn't mean, though, it's without consequences, okay, that by saying something can survive and there are consequences. You know, there's there's a lot of gray areas, and it's it's not just black and white, and I think it depends on a lot of different things. First of all, let's define adultery, because, in my mind, as a Christian, you know, adultery there's a lot of different levels. I mean, you could, I would argue, of course, you know, I know there are different things that people identify as adultery. But pornography, that's, that's a type of adultery. Cyber texting, relationships, that kind of flirting, and then, of course, you know, we know things are more severe the physical relationship. But there are different types of adultery, you, know, I'm glad you mentioned the word consequences.
Speaker 1:I mean one of my favorite things that Joel Osteen said one time, as he said you know, you can spend 10 years building up a relationship and destroy it in 10 seconds just with careless words. Just with words. And people will, you know, forgive you but they will never forget the way that you made them feel. If words have that power, imagine how much power those deeds have. You know, I believe in restoration, I believe what the Bible says as far as if anyone is in crises, a new creation and I believe God forgives us. But that doesn't mean that God always rescues us from the consequences of our actions. And an example I like to give, because I have a history in criminal law Not being prosecuted, but actually I should say I have a background in the practice of criminal law.
Speaker 2:Oh boy, a lot of things taken out of context.
Speaker 1:If you commit a crime, for example, especially a serious crime, you can repent of it and get God's forgiveness. That doesn't mean that you're now not gonna go to jail for it. I mean there's still consequences that and you know, if you've committed adultery in your marriage. I want to just mention what I mean by that in a second, even if I Believe God can do impossible things, but part of the impossible things you're now asking God to do is Restore trust. It's it's not just the forgiveness for the act, which is one subset of the problem, okay, it's, it's actually restoring trust. And you want to talk about adultery. We think of adultery just to build on what you said as cheating on your spouse. If you have kids, you're cheating on them too. I would even go so far as I even if you don't have kids, you're even cheating on the kids you were destined to have. If that's what, if that's what God's purpose you to do.
Speaker 1:I was talking to um, a good friend of mine, the other day and this is not heat. We weren't talking about adultery in this context. We're just talking about, you know, fatherhood and things like that, and we were talking about the best thing you can do as a father for your children. I just got his opinion because you know we don't have kids yet and he doesn't. I said, well, in your opinion, what's what's the best thing that you, as a father, can give your children? Because he, this guy, would die for his kids. And he said I give them my time.
Speaker 1:I said, you know, I don't know if that's right, that's a good answer, but I think the best thing you can give your children, if you really love them, is a loving marriage with you and your wife, because, first of all, that's what they want more than anything else and, secondly, that's what they need more than anything else, not just to develop because, but because you want them to be able to learn how to love someone else too and and love themselves. And when, when you commit adultery, you're not just sitting against your wife or your husband, you're sitting against them, you're sitting against your kids, you're sitting against God obviously your body's temple of God and you're sitting against yourself. It's a lack of self-respect also.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And you know, I remember the other day you and I were talking how I Forgot how we got on this topic. I think it was somebody in ministry who had committed adultery and we were like how could that happen? You know, you and you said to me, we were both like I would never cheat on you, you'd never cheat on me, and you stop for a second, much I thought was so wise. You said to me, said you know what? That's very prideful and that's how the enemy gets us in places, because you and I have safeguards in places and it's like you need those safeguards, of course, in in terms of like, even in your profession, your office, even from not being framed for something, of course, but even for just on a spiritual level, because the enemy's looking for any little, little little wedge that he can get.
Speaker 1:Yeah and I need to clarify that, because what I was, what I was trying to emphasize with that, is that I gotta be careful with my words here. But One of the ways that the enemy gets at you is you. You convince yourself. I would never fall into such a thing you just say.
Speaker 1:You just say that like like the enemy's never seen this before. Okay, and there is a certain arrogance and certain pride to it. So if you're saying yourself, well, I would never cheat on my life, okay, that's fine, that's great. Tell me why that wouldn't happen. Tell me what safeguards you have in place to make sure doesn't happen.
Speaker 1:Okay, you know, because if you're, if you're here's an example the person who says I'd never cheated on my wife and yet they're working late hours at the office, maybe by themselves, new with it with you know other women, or something like that. Or they're having you know they're just sending, they're texting on their phone all day long or talking the phone all that long to women who are friends of theirs. Having you know a secret email exchanges, and maybe it's innocent, but you know, if you're, if you're doing all those things, it's like, it's kind of like you know. If you imagine you being in an arena where you know there's these gates and inside each of these gates there are tigers, and it's like, well, each you're opening each of those gates and maybe the tiger hasn't come out to eat you yet, but it's like you're leaving those gates open one little thing, one little.
Speaker 2:Look it's a slow fade like oh sure.
Speaker 1:And then and then you get. You get into a situation where maybe you know you guys share an emotional experience. Maybe it was meant to be innocent, but somebody needs something and or something happens.
Speaker 2:Your wife ticks you off and does something, and that, and that's what the enemy does.
Speaker 1:The enemy does this in layers.
Speaker 2:It's like her husband takes you up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, no, but that's what the enemy does. It in layers where it's like okay, maybe things aren't going well in your home life. You know, we've gotten to an argument with your wife and maybe you you're overtired anyway you didn't sleep well. Maybe you're, you know you're not as strong because maybe you're getting over even a cold or something. And now you know here's somebody else and and doesn't even start as anything as anything wrong. But then Minor compromises along the way Okay, mine, and when you, mine, are lowering of barriers along the way can lead to major, major failures male or female, I mean, how many of us.
Speaker 2:We put so many safeguards in place and things still, things to do. You know what. You know what it's like.
Speaker 1:No, you know, it's like remember and this is I'm not saying this, be funny but do you remember when, a few months ago, that submarine was lost? Yeah, it was just. Yes, what destroyed that submarine was the tiniest of fractures, a micro fracture, but on the outside of the submarine was was tons and tons of pressures. And what people try to do is they they have a tiny micro fracture in there in their armor, but then they put you know, they watch movies they shouldn't watch. They hang out with people that shouldn't watch.
Speaker 1:By the way, do you know the divorce rate is much higher among people whose friends are divorced, because when you're around people like that, when you're around people who you know are are not living the way you want to live. Guess what it leeches into your life? And so people they you surround yourself with, maybe people who you shouldn't and and images that you shouldn't and watching movies that you Shouldn't and television shows that you shouldn't, make a bunch of these small compromises. Over time the pressure builds up and it's the tiniest micro fracture that can cause the whole thing to explode. So when I was saying before, it's not enough to say I'd never cheat on my wife, you say why would I never cheat on my wife? Well, a because I love her. B because I have the power of price to me, but see, because I've established a lifestyle choice and behaviors and safeguards to keep that far away from me.
Speaker 2:And let me tell you, you got to be prayed up every single day, and I'm speaking to us and to everybody. You got to be prayed up by Yourself, you got to be prayed up with your spouse, because the enemy is searching for not only adultery but the searchly. You know that as well.
Speaker 1:So I think the answer is a Christian marriage. If there is adultery. God can still perform miracles, and we would never want to limit God's power. But, all things being equal, you know, there's always saying that an ounce of prevention is worth, you know, more than the pound of the cure. And so, all things being goes, probably best not to do it in the first place and to have to rely on a miracle there you go.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say don't do it if you're thinking of it, if you have got there's honestly, honestly, and if a Christian marriage fails because of that, I have a hard time blaming the person who doesn't want to continue with it. I mean that's a longer discussion, but but it's a. It's a tough one. So, all right, chris, in the last 10 seconds, call to salvation, go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. If you are listening to this and you've never accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, or it's been like 30 years or 30 minutes, whatever and you? The point is is, if you want to accept Jesus as your truly Lord and Savior, just repeat after me. Dear Jesus, I Admit that I have sinned. I Ask you into my heart, I Make you my Lord and Savior. Forgive me of my sins in Jesus name. Amen.
Speaker 1:Amen. All right, guys. Thanks for watching. You can check us out, jordan and Kristen comm. If you want to get in touch with us you want us to pray for you, anything like that Just let us know you're listening, jordan and christen comm. Also check us out Jordan and christen ministries on YouTube and Spotify. See you next week, guys, take care.
Speaker 2:Bye you.